Saturday, October 30, 2010

Im secretly crying

Its a silent cry right now. I dont wanna be heard & asked wats wrong . 
I've never feltt so fat and ugly in my life before. Just writing it out here makes me feel a tad better for some reason. i dont knw why .. its randomn. But im not a skinny girl being dramatic. I am actually fat , obese to be correct. too fat for my age & height. But i just feel worse today, infront of my bestfriends, they are beautiful, tallish & skinny. & did i mention really beautiful that guys turn their heads when they walk past?

Its not that i get bullied & told im fat & ugly, i kind of have a pretty good social life . the average teen at skool & shit.I even get told im so pretty- but i feel like they r lying; or  i just dont see it .
I was havingg a fucking great day. until now. I feel like absolute shit, and cant stop crying cos i keep thinking how fat i am :/ its not like i havent tried to help my self.. believe me i have.I even have starved myself, doesnt seem to last long :(
I wish i lost all this shit feeling, cos i've never felt THIS bad before.. maybe its my emotional stress levels right now or maybe its my medicines side-effects .. who knows .

- xo

No comments:

Post a Comment